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Friday, March 22, 2013

10 facts about me you didn't know

 So I will give off random opinions that I have.

1. I am scared of North Korea.... deathly scared. That whole country scares the hell out of me.

2. I hate facial hair because it offends a women's faces. Their sweet, soft, smooth faces....so smooth. Our dirty stubble just cuts it up and ruins it.

3. I don't know how to talk to white people because, like North Korea, I'm scared.

4. Nothing is sadder than a constipated cat. The meow they give off is very unique and very saddening. It sounds like an Italian woman crying because she cant cook a good meal.

5. I believe that blow fish are the funniest looking animal that has ever been put into existence. Hippos are also hilarious. Anything that is that fat and doesn't move is just a joy to look at when they try to move.

6. I'm scared of heights. It's scary enough when I wear dress shoes that give me an extra 2 inches of height, never mind being on top of a cliff.

7. I hate Brussels Sprouts. I would rather choose a life with no offspring and no true love than to eat that horrid excuse of a vegetable twice a week.

8. Fried chicken reminds me of the good things in life. With some hot SAWSE!

9. I love the kind of brown that I am. I'm brown enough not to scare white people, and brown enough not to offend black people. Nobody knows what I am ...it's great! Ambiguity is sexy.

10. I believe everyone should be overweight 30 lbs once in their life to know how the world is a cruel and ugly place. True people come from those situations. And when you get all healthy the world gets really sexy. Because you have just witnessed who really enjoyed your personality after all.

Twitter.com/philincedar
instagram.com/phil_in_cedar

Follow me on Twitter for that deep stuff
Follow me on Instagram because its the sexy thing to do. :)

Have a good weekend you stud muffins!

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